I've been home for a full 3 hours and have done NOTHING.  I'm suppose to be getting ready for a yard sale tomorrow.  I 'm suppose to go grocery shopping so that the we have something that resembles edible food combinations in the house for the next week.  I'm suppose to be doing laundry. I'm suppose to be spending time with my youngest daughter taking in every precious moment that we can spend together this summer on my half days off.

But I didn't. I'm not.

I can't bring myself to be productive.  It is as if my "productive switch" has been broken today. It doesn't help that I haven't slept more than 6 hours in the past 2 days and it is wicked hot. 

I need an excuse for being lazy today.  Help!

confession

So, my husband and I have each other's email account passwords - no secrets right?  Anyway, I write him scathing emails - filled with grievances and complaints about what he did or did not do that ticked me off - this usually takes place after a particularly evil disagreement.   Then...a few minutes later, after I have cooled off, I go in and delete the email from his account.

I'm not sure why I do this, only that one of these days he is going to open his email before I get the chance to delete it and boy howdy am I ever going to be sorry.

(He already knows I do this and he said that one day he is going to change his password just to spite me)

semi veg

I've been wrestling with the idea of becoming a vegetarian. I know, that sounds crazy...I've been consuming meat for my entire life, why would I want to give it up now?

To be honest...I don't know.  It isn't like I am a huge fan of vegetables.  However, lately...or actually, this has been culminating over a period of time...I have found meat to be less and less appetizing.  To the point where I usually can't finish all of my food because the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.  And not just any food...usually the meat portion of my meal.

It's weird. I just don't find any satisfaction in eating meat.  Maybe it is all those talking animal cartoons I've watched my entire life.  How can we (as human beings) watch a movie where the primary characters are animals that have been humanized and then go out and grab some hamburgers?  We really ARE far removed from our food source.

I guess it didn't help that recently I saw some videos of the mistreatment of animals who are farmed for slaughter.  No, I don't actually care that they are killed and consumed (though after having seen those videos, the meat section at Kroger seems more like a horror exhibit than an appealing display).  I am more concerned with how they are treated beforehand.  This is both for the animals benefit, but my benefit as well.  I mean how nutritionally sound is it to consume meat that came from an animal that was pretty much tortured its entire existence?

I know that for me, if I could buy a farm and raise my own animals, and grow my own vegetables, I would have no hesitation.  At least then I would know for sure that my food product was given the best possible circumstances before it ultimately hit my dinner table.  But buying meat at the grocery store - I have no guarantee. 

So, I have started buying the cage-free eggs, and I will probably begin introducing more expensive versions of my normal grocery list (because I will still need to purchase meat for my family).  I don't know how it will work out actually.  I haven't thought that far ahead.  Only for me, I am starting to realize that there may be something to all the hoopla about not eating meat, or at least not eating SO much.

I am not exactly sure how I will survive without my occasional "all beef" hot dog. Maybe I will just watch "Babe" again for the 100th time, or maybe I will just go semi-veg.

too tired

Last night I made the strategic error of staying up until midnight.  A normal error in judgement caused by unfortunate conflicting work schedules.

Now, after 1 cup of coffee, and 1 can of Coke, I am STILL dragging.  I can barely keep my eyes open, even with the A/C cranked up high.  Today is going to be a complete waste of time because I cannot concentrate for more than 10 minutes at a time.  Tonight, my bed time is 9:00.  That is that.

Sunday morning

Dark Sunday morning...

Everyone is sleeping

click click tap tap type

We should be getting up to go to church, I made an attempt to wake my husband up in time.  But he is sleeping so peacefully, I hate to disturb him with the rush and bustle of an early morning routine. Am I wrong to think that he needs this rest more than God's word?  Or maybe I am just being selfish as I sit here and enjoy the dim light casting lazy shadows across the room; birdsong and chatter deepening the peacful moment.  The cats are staring at me, they want food.  But at least for now they are quite.  The twinge in my back has not gone away, it is annoysome more than painful; and I want nothing more than to sit here in this silent reverance in the "before" of my day.

Perhaps I can meet with Him here.